Beauty from Every Vantage Point

I am falling in love with Sedona. How can I fail to love a place that exudes such beauty? I see it literally everywhere I look. Breathtaking red rock formations surround the town (I know they call it a city, but it feels much smaller) on all sides. To the left is the view I had from a parking area in town on my first day.

Perhaps you can begin to see what I mean. If I had one wish, it would be to turn down the heat. Yesterday I got lost walking back from the community pool, and got my first official sunburn. Thinking I was going for a short walk, I failed to bring my hat. Belatedly I realized I could put my white hotel towel over my head, which I did --to heck with how it looked! I was too freaking hot to care!

What I just wrote may seem completely off the topic of beauty, yet I'm about to tie the two together. Yesterday was a challenging day. In addition to getting lost and sunburnt -- to find a pool that was closed -- I also lost a battle with a portable can opener that I just couldn't figure out how to use, which left me feeling quite frustrated. My coolest pair of blue jeans disintegrated on me -- literally! I had to stuff them into one of my hotel room's tiny garbage cans last night. Not only are they unwearable, they're so frayed they're unpatchable. All small things, yes, and taken in aggregate they were discouraging.

I also began feeling lonely yesterday, which I hadn't expected because I'm having such a great time. As if to emphasize my isolation, the guided mystical tour I took yesterday turned out to have two participants besides myself: two gorgeous women who apparently knew the guide quite well. At one point in our retreat, a gentleman with two dogs happened through. One of the dogs seem quite enamoured of our group, and decided to bring a large tree branch for us to play with. One by one, our guide and the other two women received this dog's favor, and threw the branch for her to retrieve. Except me. She never brought the branch to me.

You might wonder why I care, but it felt very odd. I absolutely adore animals, and they usually give that right back. The fact that this sweet, playful doggy did not bring me the branch had me feeling left out. In fact, all the other tour participants noticed, and turned to look back at me with (it seemed) mild pity.

To make a long story a little shorter, this tour ended up being the best part of my day, and the women and our guide are lovely people whom I'm glad I met. After our tour -- which I'll talk more about in tomorrow's blog -- they dropped me off and I tried to get back to my hotel. I wanted to change out of my jeans and take myself to dinner. No such luck! Two drivers had apprently crashed into each other right at Highway 89A and Willow Way, so I could not get back to my hotel, which happens to be on Willow Way. The police had the entire street blocked off.

Feeling frustrated anew, I walked to the restaurant for dinner, only to discover they close at 8 pm. I arrived at 7:55, too late to get seated. I walked half a mile to a traffic light, scoping out restaurants on the street. None were open, so I went back to the hotel, and had to sneak around to it from one street over.

Now for the beauty. By the time I got back to my room, I felt lonely, angry, frustrated, exhausted, and just a little picked on by the Universe. Normally, these are all the ingredients for a screaming blue funk that grabs me by the throat and holds on. And I feel wonderful! No deep blue funk. Last night I went to the hotel office, took out some free movies, borrowed a can-0pener, and had a great time -- all by myself. Even though I felt lonely. Even though I really wanted someone to talk with, to eat dinner with. I had someone -- myself.

Failing to fall head-first into depression is a totally new paradigm for me, and I am exhilirated! Today Sedona's beauty seems enhanced! Even the clouds are beautiful!