The Car of My Dreams and Gratitude List

It feels right at this juncture, with my trip nearly complete, to write a list of the things for which I'm grateful. I've had quite the adventure over the last few weeks, very different than expected, yet an adventure nonetheless. I've lost much and gained much as well. I'm a bit frazzled and feeling tender at times, yet the Universe feels in balance. That said, here's my list:

1) I am grateful to still be breathing and feeling (relatively) sane.

2) I'm grateful for my beloved, who's a financial whiz, hot sexy hunk of manflesh and all around amazing being.

3) I'm grateful we've been together so long. This is year number 29, and going strong!

4) I'm grateful for all my friends, who have no idea how much they helped me over the last few weeks. Abundant blessings and may the Divine bestow Grace on you in every possible form!

5) I'm grateful for Texas roadside cafes that have better food than I ever thought possible (see photo below). I had grilled vegetables and tilapia at this one with homemade tartar sauce. YUM! Oh, and hitching posts in the parking lot were a very groovy detail, in my opinion.

6) I'm grateful to have driven off the Honda Pre-owned Vehicle lot in Austin in a gently-used, 2010 Prius -- a car I've dreamed about owning for many years!

7) I"m grateful for booking a hotel in Austin that happened to lie 2.6 miles from that city's only no-haggle Honda dealership. When I bought the Prius, they even showed me the car fax!

8) I'm grateful to have met Millicent Rogers, through the auspices of her museum in Taos, New Mexico. She was an amazing woman with a rare spirit and an eye for beauty who accomplished a great deal in her short life. Here are a few photos from the museum:

9) I'm grateful for my sense of humor.

10) I'm grateful for my resilience and strength of spirit.

11) I'm grateful to keep rediscovering my sense of adventure!

12) I'm grateful for the beauty Ive found everywhere I've been. Beauty in appearance, in spirit, in generosity -- in every way possible.

13) I'm grateful for Mary, a resident of Taos Pueblo who happened to lunch in the same tiny, hole-in-the-wall Mexican place as myself on the day we met. She told me of a life filled with travel and adventure, divorces and the death of her son. She also told me of her daughter, a world-famous maker of pottery with work displayed in museums, including Millicent's.

14) I'm grateful for my freedom to create, and for your desire to read these children that spring from my fertile mind.

Thank you for your kind and gentle attention, my friends. Take care, and may your weekend prove inspiring and delightful beyond all expectations!

~Love and Blessings,
Selene~

Goodbye to My Wild Blue Honda -- and the Rest of My Trip

This trip has progressed very, very differently than I anticipated. As it turns out, I won't get to see New Orleans, Atlanta or St. Augustine. Nor will I visit Mobile, Little Rock or Oklahoma City on the way back.

My trusty steed of steel and glass and I must part company. The air conditioning system self destructed, apparently shooting metal fragments throughout its own components. Repairs are far too expensive to be worth the investment. Having it repaired feels like a bad risk, since I've been having one issue after another with it since December 2010. I never imagined I would say goodbye this soon, even so, and in Texas, of all places.

So I'm staying in Austin longer than originally scheduled. I consulted with my sweetie, and he recommends using the money that would have gone into repairs -- as well as seeing if my old car has a reasonable trade-in value -- as a down payment on a new car. After that, the expense of continuing my trip would prove too great for our bank account, so I'll head home from Austin next Wednesday. Hopefully in a new, reasonably priced car.

As you might guess, I'm disappointed that I must cut my trip short. I'm also grieving my car. As it turns out, my trip is less important to me than having transportation on a regular basis. This trip is a symbol of the freedom to do what I want when the mood takes me. Without a car, I could still do that, I suppose, but on a much more limited basis. At least I took a few photos of my faithful steed to remember it by. Here's one, taken at a rest stop somewhere along I-10 in Texas:
On the plus side, there are a few adventures I wanted to have on the way to Austin that I may stop and have on the way home. I never did see the Carlsbad Caverns, the Rio Grande Gorge Bridge in Taos or the Grand Canyon. I also wanted to do the Ghost Tour in Jerome, Arizona. All of those -- or even a few -- might prove possible on my return trip.

Even without seeing a lot of Austin, I've already had adventures aplenty in Texas. My blessings go out to Nick, my tow truck drive with a heart of gold. Such a gentleman, and delightful company. I would never have made it to my hotel in Austin without him. My blessings also go out to the three young men who will forever remain nameless -- since they never gave me their names -- who pushed my car to the Miller Creek RV Park just outside Johnson City, Texas. By the time I put my Honda in park and turned around, they were already running across Interstate 290 in the maddening Texas heat, back to their cars and their own adventures.

I do have transportation in Austin, having rented a red Dodge behemoth of some sort. It eats gas for breakfast, lunch and dinner and the best thing I can say about it is it's a nice color, it runs and has amazing brakes. Other than that, I dislike it -- probably because I miss my own car. A standard-size, bright red, gas guzzling vehicle cannot compare to my cool blue, compact, hybrid chariot.

Well, it's late -- at least according Texas time -- and I need to get a little more work done before I get to sleep. Take care, dear readers, and may you realize your own brilliance and shine like the stars you are.

~Love and Blessings,
Selene~

The Best Laid Plans (Two for the Price of One)

I can truthfully say that I very much wanted to visit the Grand Canyon a second time. I'm certain I'll do so at some point -- just not during this trip.

Yesterday was the day I had reserved for that particular brand of Grandness. I was asleep by 10 pm, and around 8 am. Unfortunately, however, I was anything but eager to drive the 80 plus miles to the South Rim. My body felt tired and achy, and lots of driving yesterday, prior to lots of driving today, just felt exhausting.

Instead of feeling disappointed, however, I decided to find out what was closer to the hotel in Flagstaff that might prove fun and entertaining. I ended up going to the Sunset Volcano National Monument and Wapatki National Monument. Both attractions are 20 miles apart, and for a mere $5, they were both mine for the day.

The lava beds were mightily impressive, yet my favorite part of the trip was still to come.

Lovely Quaking Aspen grew tenaciously in the rocky, black soil -- clearly still closer to lava chunks than true dirt.

After one stop to view the ancient lava beds, however, I decided to move on to the Wapatki ruins, but never made it. I saw a sign for the Wukoki ruins, and on impulse, turned left down the 2.5 mile road. After a few minutes, the ruin of an ancient Hopi big house hove into view. Wukoki is the the modern Hopi word for a large, multiple family dwelling.

As it turned out, I could hike a short trail to the ruins, and even climb up into and on them -- as long as I stayed judiciously on the trail. This, I was happy to do. How often have I had the chance in my lifetime to climb through the remains of a Hopi home from the 1120s? That would be never -- until now, of course. Along with these photos, I'm inspired to share my first poem of the trip, a road haiku -- or would that be road-ku? At any rate, here it is:

I see the whole sky.
Blue upon blue horizon.
For miles and miles, blue.

The ruin was unusual, because the dwelling had originally been three stories -- apparently a rare thing for Hopi architects to attempt. Three families lived in this house, and I had little difficulty imagining them there.

The view from the open plaza has likely changed somewhat in nearly 900 years, yet I'm guessing it was just as impressive then. How much have the mountains shrunk in all that time, I wonder?

At any rate, I'll leave you with a view of the whole structure -- or what's left now.

A few interesting occurrences during my trip so far: in Sedona, I stayed at the Days Inn in room 138. In Flagstaff, I stayed at the Rodeway Inn, also in room 138. No, I didn't request it, that's just the way it happened. I'm writing this from a Borders in Albuquerque, about two or three hours from Taos, where I'm staying at another Days Inn. Stay tuned for the room number!

On a more mundane note -- yet no less exciting to me -- my car has been performing brilliantly! I recorded 45.4 miles per gallon (mpg) on the trip to Mesa, Arizona, and 41. 3 mpg from Mesa to Sedona, then 40.3 mpg from Sedona to Jerome to Flagstaff to Navajo, Arizona. As I get higher (current elevation is 1 mile above sea level) I seem to lose mileage. I'm sure there's some scientific reason for that, but I don't know what it is.

Well, here's the final photo of the Wukoki ruin, for your viewing pleasure:

Take care, and may your travels prove blessed and your worries few.

~Love and Blessings,
Selene~

Life, Death, and the Road

Today I spent the day in Sedona with my closest friend. She drove up from Mesa to spend a few more hours with me before we part company for about a month. I've loved the time we've spent together, and I'm also eager to be off on my own -- just me and the open road!

I got a call this week from another dear friend, who told me her mother just passed away. She'd been anticipating "the call" for over a year. I spent time on the phone with her, letting her know I love her, and that I have some small understanding of her pain. I lost my mom in 1996, and the anniversary of her loss -- July 5 -- occurs at the end of my trip. I wish I could have been there to put my arms around my friend, and in my memory I grieve with her.

I got a call yesterday from my sweetie, who told me he found a new job after being laid off in February. I called back to congratulate him, enjoying the sound of his voice tinged with cautious optimism, wishing I could be there to celebrate and kiss him a time or 27 -- just for luck.

Even though I want to be there, and share joys and sorrows with people I love, I'm here, in Sedona, Arizona having an adventure all my own -- and I want to be here. The people I love are here with me, whether they know it or not. I'm guessing some of them do. Dear friends, all those of you who wanted me to pack you in my suitcase and take you along on my trip -- and you know who you are -- please call when you think of it, when there's a spare moment in your busy lives. The moments we share are precious to me, and you can join me on the road, wherever I happen to land, through the miracle of wireless radio waves.

If you don't have my number, email me and I'll send it. If you don't have my email, send me a message on Facebook. If a phone call feels challenging, send me an email. I really want to hear from you.

Tomorrow I'm off to Jerome, Arizona, which boasts a reputedly haunted hotel and wild west history, then on to Flagstaff, from where I plan to visit the Grand Canyon for the second time in my life. I'll stay in Flagstaff until Monday, so I can take in as much of that Grandness as possible before heading to Taos, New Mexico.

It's getting late, and I'd best get to bed. I've got a big day tomorrow, and checkout time is 11 am. If you feel so inclined, let me hear from you. It needn't be tomorrow, or even the next day. Whenever the fancy possesses you. And if it never does, worry not -- I still love and think the world of you.

Thanks for reading, and may bliss and brilliant inspiration find you wheresoever you go.

~Love and Blessings,
Selene~

Late Start

After a very late night on Thursday, I woke up shortly after 11 am Friday morning. Following the stressful two weeks preceding my trip -- losing my Dell laptop hard drive and all data thereon counting as just one stressor -- I allowed myself to get a late, slow, relaxed start. As it turned out, I left Oakland shortly after 5 pm.

Surprisingly, traffic on 580 East moved swiftly and I was well on my way by 6 pm, cruising down I-5 South toward LA listening to retro tunes -- Cream and the Beatles, for example. Speaking of cruising, I want to devote a few words of praise to one of the best darn inventions of the 20th Century: cruise control! By itself, a thing of beauty, and when combined with the benefits of a hybrid -- sheer perfection!

I've already traveled almost 300 miles, and still have a third of a tank to go. I expect my MPG will prove close to 50 for this leg of the trip! YEAH!

I also want to tell the story of arriving at the hotel just outside LA. I began seeking a hotel around 10:30 pm, keeping the faith and driving forward optimistically. My good cheer began to wane as my bladder expanded with each passing mile. I finally chose an exit around 11 pm and plunged into the wilds of LA's outskirts.

First, my GPS went temporarily insane. That's really the only way I can describe it. I pulled over to the side of the road and turned it on, searching for points of interest (spelled h-0-t-e-l-s) in the area. It listed the Kamaka Hotel, only 1 mile from my location. Just one hitch: the road on which it instructed me to turn left did not actually possess a left side. Instead of turning, therefore, I proceeded straight ahead. What happened next? Read on!

The GPS then performed a "route recalculation," instructing me to drive 5.9 miles and turn right on Sepulveda Boulevard. I proceeded to this location, growing more confused and panicked by the moment. I truly flipped my lid when I noticed that the destination toward which I was driving lay 28 miles away. Where was the momentarily possessed device taking me? I have NO idea. I stopped listening to it when I happened into a brightly lit area near the I-5 on ramp that boasted restaurants, gas stations and -- YES! God and Goddess be praised! -- hotels.

I chose the first likely looking, reasonably priced establishment I found. I signed in without incident -- bladder screaming for relief -- and then went in search of my room -- #100. "It's in the back," said the woman behind the counter. Oh, would that it had been so easy.

I walked out of the office and saw that the room number closest to where I had parked was 172, and the numbers descended heading away from that point. Being a logical, intelligent sort of person, I got in my car and headed around the corner. I passed the 160s, the 150s and 140s. I rounded another corner and passed the 130s and 120s. I rounded yet another corner -- coming in sight of the office once again -- and saw the 110s. I parked in what seemed a likely spot and walked over to where I guessed room 100 would be. Such folly to believe the world is logical!

I walked down the row of rooms to 101 -- and there the trail ended. Immediately around the corner was a staircase leading to the second floor. Further on lay the corner around which I once again found the 130s. Near the office, the room numbers were in the 160s. I walked in widening circles, shaking my head. Finally, being an intelligent sort of person, I went to the office again.

"Where is this room located?" I asked. "I can't find it. I found room 101, but room 100 doesn't appear anywhere nearby."

"Outside, around the corner," the woman said.

"I tried that," I said.

She came out and led me to the room, walking in the opposite direction from 101, back toward the rooms in the 170s, where I had originally been. And there it was -- Room 100 -- right around the corner, and conveniently located right next to (wait for it) Room 140!

At that point, I had to laugh. Oh, the adventure of life. I couldn't make this stuff up if I tried!

Well, it's getting very late, and checkout time here, blessedly, is 12 noon. I'd like to get a few hours of sleep before getting on the road again tomorrow.

Thanks for reading, and may your worries prove few and rewards prove many!

Love, blessings, and good night.

I Want to Be in Belly Love

I've been having a challenging time the last couple of days, wrestling the demon of self-loathing. After all the years I've worked on boosting my self image and esteem, this bout took me completely by surprise.

On Sunday I went to a wonderful consignment shop and tried on a large number of clothing items. I ended up with three things that fit and looked good on me. I also left the dressing room with a serious case of the why doesn't my body look the way I wish it did blues.

I've had the excellent fortune to have very few of these bouts over the last several years, ever since I lost 80 lbs. on my current eating plan. I was shocked to realize on Sunday that I still see myself as huge. I really don't know what brought it all on, but I felt deeply envious of all the slender women in the shop that day. "Why," I asked myself, "don't I have cleavage and a tiny waist?" For many years, I've dressed in long dresses, skirts and pants, as well as in styles and cuts of fabric that "hide" certain offending body parts -- namely my round belly and thick legs.

Perhaps I felt that way because summer is fast approaching -- although with the rain and cold weather in the Bay Area today, you wouldn't know it. Leaving that aside, however, I sometimes feel wistful when warmer weather begins, wishing I could drape my body in tiny silk chemises and satin shorts with bikini tops.

Finding beautiful clothing is a challenge for me, and also an absolute necessity. I'm definitely the artful, sensitive type, and it delights me to express myself via my wardrobe. So I do, whenever possible.

The past few days, I've been diving deeply inward. That's how I discovered that part of me still hates my belly. So I've decided I want to be in belly love. In the face of no agreement, in the midst of a culture that constantly tells me, "Get skinny, because you're not worth anything unless you look a certain way," I am apologizing to my belly. She gives me so many wonderful things, and I fail to honor her on a regular basis.

This post is my official declaration of working toward deep and serious belly love. May we all fall madly in love with ourselves, because we all deserve love.

Blessings, and thanks for reading.