Don't Stop Now

 This post was originally begun, I believe, in April 2012; this means that the week referred to in the first sentence happened about eight months ago. Today (inspired by a close friend's blog called Writing Shed) I read it through and decided to complete and post it. Enjoy!

Oh, my Goddess, what a week this has been -- and it's not even over! The past few weeks have been a whirlwind of positive change and profound personal growth. It all started when I decided to delve more deeply into my food addiction, which had begun causing health issues for me that I couldn't ignore. Silly me. I thought it was just about food; little did I know what lurked beneath.

Actually, it may have all started when I decided to have some professional photos taken by amazing, shamanic photographer Sharie Cohen (see one of them on the left), so I could get serious about my Shamanic Soul Work practice -- among other things. My income stream from freelance editing had pretty much disappeared, so I was looking for a new paying gig. Somewhere in that process, it occurred to me (cliche alert!) that I'm not getting any younger. So, why not make another bid to do the work my heart calls me to do -- when I'm not teaching writing workshops or otherwise working with words, that is.

I have a gift for listening deeply to others while holding them in a space of compassion without condition. My heart knows there is much unheeded and unhealed grief and pain in the world, and I long to help alleviate some of it. I've done this work with several of my friends, and I always feel the rightness of it afterward -- what one of my teachers calls "the big YES"!

As I was saying, I decided to have professional photos taken, and I believe that was when the Universe decided I was taking myself seriously enough for things to really start hopping. For example: I've had the following paid offers/opportunities over the last two weeks: two hours of computer work for a friend; two hours of editing work for a retired doctor in San Francisco (with more possible going forward); four hours of manual labor for a friend in Point Richmond. On top of all that, next week I'm meeting with a gentleman who saw my resume on Craig's List and
wants assistance creating a book of his poetry.

Oh, AND another friend may have editing work for me in a couple of months. On top of that, I'm participating in a hot flash study at UCSF, which pays a small honorarium as well. There's so much more, my head feels as though it's literally spinning.

Well, I can tell you that I began writing this post very much earlier this year; as of this present moment (6:09 pm PST on Wednesday, November 28, 2012) I am working regularly for the gentleman who saw my resume on Craig's List, earning a goodly sum each month. I stopped editing for the retired doctor, because his wife (whom I have no doubt is a lovely person) wanted me to work faster and save them money each time, something I could not guarantee -- and pressure under which I did not want to work.

The point of all this, or at least the explanation for the title of this post, is that I went out for Asian food and received a fortune from my cookie that consisted of three words: Don't Stop Now.

I remember looking at the small, white rectangle of paper printed in black with my mouth hanging open; I was amazed, flabbergasted and amused all at the same time! I had never before seen a fortune remotely like it, and I took it as a message from the Universe, encouraging me to continue in the same direction.

As to what was lurking beneath my food addiction, that turned out to be grief. Primarily I felt sadness and loss regarding my mother, who passed from this life on July 5, 1996. Grief for my family exists side by side, along with the struggle to forgive -- mostly myself.

I am still aware of my food addiction, especially this time of year. I'm pleased to report that this Thanksgiving, I had a single plate of food at a rather large gathering of friends, and it consisted of a few slices of turkey and a whole lot of greens! I admit I nibbled here and there before and after, but only on foods I know are healthy for me. To have a Thanksgiving go by and have it NOT focus primarily on food, is -- for me personally -- a true victory.

Thank you, my friend -- known or unknown -- for reading this far. I appreciate your kind regard.

Take care, and may you always remember how deeply you touch the world.